We're like a lot better than the average bears
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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