I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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