Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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