I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
