1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
