Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize