I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
