dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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