just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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