I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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