what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
