I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i believe in u and ur pee
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
