now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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