Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
