Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
