it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wish i was in the wii world.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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