I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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