Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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