ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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