moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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