Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
