Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
well you can't waste a boner
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
