Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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