Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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