I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
