I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
