They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
