I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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