I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
