Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
