woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
