i jhust puked up my retainher.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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