She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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