i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
