WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
