At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
