Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
