is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
