i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
