1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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