He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Randomize
