Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
