She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
