I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I want her autograph on my taint
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
