Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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