For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
