when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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