i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize