idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
