In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
