And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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