I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
