wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
