What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
