This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
