I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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