Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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