Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
