Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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