if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
